are you setupiak?

i am not a print designer.

i am not a designer.

i am not.

there, i said it. i don't know what i am. even after all these time.

what good is two As and a B+ when in the end i fail at what i'm supposed to be doing best

worked so hard only to be told that it's not even good enough to pass

what's the point?

today marks the longest we've been apart in the past 3 years.

glad we've had all those practice in the years before.

another 12 days to go in this cold weather. happy and sad at the same time.

i don't want to talk about You like you're not in the room,
wanna look right at You, wanna sing right to You.

to know You for who You are.

today i unsubscribed from about a dozen blog feeds. some dead blogs, some of people i am not allowing myself to stalk anymore in the process of letting go, and some of lives i am not interested in anymore, and some of things that are not important to me anymore, such as daily outfits and gossip.

if anything, being stretched thin financially has trained me to value what is important and what isn't. what i need versus what i want.

and taking this beyond material things, to spend time on what is important and less on what isn't. on what i need versus what i want.

certain things i used to deem commodities like clothes i have to see as luxuries. and i am learning to not complain as much, learning to not resent going from shopping in New arrivals to shopping in Sale sections to shopping in Clearance sections to not shopping at all. and to accept that people who are able to spend on things i cannot does not make them shallow or materialistic. to not pass judgment (too much).

but to appreciate that i have learnt that i KNOW i can survive without these things. i am not unhappy. i KNOW for sure i am cautious with expenditure. i KNOW for sure it makes me sick in my stomach spending beyond my means.

to KNOW i am able to still stand firm and say i trust in my God who will provide. i am not beyond His sight or care. His plans for me are the best possible, beyond the 'best' that i can conceive in my mind for myself. nothing surprises Him, nothing surpasses His control, nothing is beyond His grace. and my faith is stronger than my doubts.

and having the cheeseter here is way better than replacing my entire wardrobe.

i think the hardest part about being back in melb is being the third/fifth wheel.

once again i am reminded of the power of God and His faithfulness even when I haven't been faithful.

nothing else can explain how one minute i felt like i really cannot make the flight tomorrow, and the next, i feel well enough.

He is the King of kings, the Lord of lords.

too many things to do in one weekend.

busyness increases proportionally to inclination to hide in bed.

too physically tired to be emotionally wrung out.